Alright, the feeling of dizziness as you crawl your way out of the halls, fellow goons pass by you scurrying towards the outside atmosphere was spirit lifting. You were probably right on the edge of relaxing your bladder muscles as you drifted asleep with the ever increasing head-weight held up by stalky and sweating arms. Your ears ring as the fuzziness of your vision continues to grow. You are further and further pulled into the dreamland known only as the matrix. You walk around a white room that has you tumbling over as you are pulled in and out of this fantasy. Eventually you find yourself stuck in this white room of shapes and misfortunes, you begin to panic. 

Just as you have given up hope on your rescue from the hallucinations you hear this irritating squeal combined with the jocular jubilation of many children — not a combination that seems to make sense. There is a hand held out towards you but before you can decide to grab it you are tugged away by another friend. The fire alarm has gone off! Not only do you have a sudden jolt of energy you are also now able to articulate yourself. You hear the joy in pupils mouths as they are about to experience 20 minutes of a skive. You relish in the fact you are one step closer to home time while simultaneously doing no work. 

An experience that is wonderful to any school pupil, especially if several occur...

If you turn your back in this sacred school you find a bag full of rotten bananas and clear/silver liquids. Never should you trust a banister for the day you do you will find yourself oozing and dripping with coconut smelling liquids that don't come off.

This devious crew would hit up classrooms faster than a pit bull devours a toddler. With their hands full of litres of sanitiser they would lather the carpet floors creating indoor swimming pools, Cover desks and jotters leading to irreversible staining and what is even better they would chuck banana skins on the lights above and watch them wither away over weeks. 

It wasn't only ploys of sanitation that were being thought up, there were more behind the scenes. Snapping of pencils, whistling at unsuspecting men, loud ape sounds through the halls and of course large quantities of H2O trickled down the stairs allowing for many, many casualties.

Some would call it a cult, we call it fun — Join us.

The Friday afternoons — when tensions were high and the sun was low — were an atmosphere not to miss. From all over the suburb people would gather. Drinking, squabbling about previous battles and how they miss the glory days of war. People would rush behind the crumbling church just over the hill —this is where excitement was born. Random reasons and random people it always felt like. Did people really have to die over such trivial reasons such as one stealing another's wife? The crowd certainly thought so. 

So they began to go at it! Thwap! Pow! Bop! Bang! Kablam! People would get out their glowing rectangles and turn on their motion capture applications, turn them to the lowest of quality, start shaking/the lenses about then press record!

When you entered such a room as this you could almost swim through the thick hide the atmosphere wore. As you pushed your hands back and forth you created these little pockets of breathable air keeping you from passing out. Too much went on in this classroom but here are a few highlights.

Don't ya just love 'em glue sticks? They were valuable and rare commodities to a school. To waste one would be treason, to waste many — punishable by death. The man we all know and love who shun't be named was at the centre of this operation. Before the time of depressingly throwing yourself off of building he would yoink as many glue sticks as possible and tarnish their usability by vigorously and aggressively jamming them into the underside of desks. This would create these unique blobs of solid glue that were stuck there as clear evidence of his crimes. He didn't do this for the money, he did it for the thrill and the crowd reactions. He would dip his toes in the pond off getting caught several times a day. Even better once there was a day of superior antics. The man lobbed a whole glue stick at the wall creating a shock-wave through the class and for the next few days remained there till his execution and he was caught.

We used to have group projects in this hallucinogenic class. One group project was fondly remembered and has now subdivided into its own successful business. "PIZZ FIZZ" twas to be presented in front of the class in a serious and professional manner. We giggled and we laughed, spluttering out out lines for the group project knowing what we were saying was complete B.S. Some of the side effects were bad. Most were good.

During the final 2 years of High school, I would create google forms. All of the year-group would fill out forms and the pie charts would be formed in the fires of mount doom. Some people laughed, some people cried, most said nothing about the results. It was always funny for me, the organiser. I made the questions, took in requests and saw the results. A community was built, it made me happy.

If you are a lost soul perhaps you should join? "4kt4wr5" is the word.

This was a unique venture that could only be done with the help of the participants, without any test subjects i couldn't have done any experiments. Otherwise I would have had to settle for hobos on the street, tearing them from their beloved homes and bringing them into the lab.