The Function Affairs
At every function there must be sufficient activities to ensure on-goers hang around. With this idea in mind we can analyse and assume that providing top notch games will create a delightful environment for all! So to help you and your future gatherings we have documented a few games and examples of their components. We sure hope they don't end any brawls. (Bring alcohol too for added fun and frustration)
Not all of the following questions have been field tested however any text in ㅤPurpleㅤ has been used by our Experimental Office (one of our 10 sacred proselytisers). Any failed questions are immediately terminated and replaced. Our end goal is to test every single bullet point.
Apprehensive Knowledge Requests or Mischievous Ultimatums
If you wish to play a devastating and devious game of choice and free will this game is for you! The well known "Truth or Dare" is here. If you are ever short of questions cherry pick a few from here!
Making truths - When making truths it is best to have them involve other people who are playing the game with you by making the player answering choose someone in the room as an answer. Other ideas include making them answer a hard "Would you rather" question, describing / showing you something about themselves you haven't seen before.
Making Dares - When making dares try to keep the incentive to do them high, e.g. a forfeit if not completed successfully. Make them painful, disgusting or embarrassing.
Truths
Who would you trade lives with in the room for a day and what would you do?
What is the longest time you think you could go without [fill in blank]?
How often do you find yourself exaggerating things in your life?
what is an embarrassing secret about you?
what is something you're glad your parents don't know about?
What is something about you that you don't want us to know?
What secret did you share that you shouldn't have?
Say 2 truths and a lie and we will guess which is the lie?
If you could play a prank on someone and not get caught, who would it be and what would the prank be?
If we were in a mansion and one of us is the killer, who would you accuse to be the killer?
What illegal thing would you make legal?
What legal thing would you make illegal?
If you could increase something by 5% what would you increase?
If you had to spend 100 hours in a white room with only a pencil and paper, what do you think you would do?
What is a compliment you will remember forever?
If you had to give a compliment to everyone here what would you say?
If you had to have a love triangle, what 2 people would you pick from this group?
If you are already in a relationship what person from here would you add as a third to make a love triangle?
If you had to date two partners with a combined age of 30 - what two ages would you choose?
Who in this room would you trust with your deepest secret, and why?
Who in this room would you never want to be stuck in an elevator with, and why?
Who in this room do you think has the worst taste in romantic partners, and why?
Who in this room would you most want to switch lives with for a day, and why?
Who in this room do you think would make the best or worst parent, and why?
Who in this room would you trust to plan a surprise party for you, and why?
Who in this room would you least want to be stranded on a desert island with, and why?
Who in this room do you feel safest around and why?
Who in this room would you least want to be in a group project with, and why?
Who in this room do you think is secretly the most insecure, and why?
What's the most embarrassing thing you've done while under the influence of alcohol or drugs?
What's the most regrettable decision you've made in your life so far?
What's the most embarrassing nickname you've ever had?
Who in this room is the most attractive to you?
What's the most embarrassing thing you've been caught doing?
What's the worst lie you've ever gotten away with?
What's the most humiliating rejection you've experienced?
Have you ever broken something belonging to someone else and not told them?
Who in this room do you think is hiding the most of themselves, and why?
Who in this room would you trust to give you fashion advice?
Who in this room would you trust to cook you a delicious meal?
Who in this room would you trust to give you honest relationship advice, and why?
Who in this room do you think has the best taste in music, and why?
Who in this room would you trust to give a speech at an event you host, and why?
Who in this room do you think has the most interesting life story, and why?
Who in this room would you trust to help you solve a difficult problem, and why?
Who in this room would you trust to choose a tattoo design for you?
Who in this room do you think has the most unexpected talent, and why?
Who in this room is the coach when it comes to advice but never plays on the field?
Who in this room do you think as the mother of the group
Who in this room would you trust to plan a memorable night out, and why?
Who in this room do you think has the most interesting job, and why?
Who in this room do you think is secretly the most romantic, and why?
Who in this room would you trust to give you a pep talk when you're feeling down, and why?
Who in this room do you think is the biggest risk-taker, and why?
Who in this room do you think has the most embarrassing childhood story, and why?
If you had to cut one person out of this group, who would it be and why?
Whose death would hit the hardest/least in this room?
Who's the last/first person here you'd want to be stranded on a deserted island with and why?
Have you ever blamed someone here for something you did? What was it?
Who would you never trust with a secret and why?
Who do you think would be the worst partner in a relationship and why?
Who do you think is the laziest when it comes to doing tasks and that allows them to find easy ways of doing things?
What is the worst thing that could be found in your room?
Dares
Tickle torture for 1 min
Bust out your moves for 1 min
Lick a foot
Let 1 friend slap your back as hard as possible
Mell the first word that comes to mind
Make out with your fist
Make up a rap on the fly
Bark on all fours
Bench 110 kg at the gym
Show everyone your camera roll
Speak in an Australian ascent for the next 5 mins
Put on a blindfold (or close eyes) and feel a random players face and try to guess who they are.
Narrate the game for the next few turns as if you were a sports commontator.
Spin around and around in a circle for 1 minute and then try to walk normally
Hold a plank until your next turn
Tell the group a prolific and nonsensical quote.
Remove your sock or someone elses with your teeth
Keep doing silly faces/noises until someone laughs (I love you honey game)
Act like your making a YouTube apology video about something you have done in your past
Do 30 push ups and say my name each time
Pretend to be a tour guide and describe everything around you
Say your best dad joke and get people to laugh
Pretend you have always had a secret handshake with someone here and improve the handshake
Attempt a pick up line on someone
Act cringe / brain rot for 1 min
Pretend you are a chef and give a really deep and insightful description of a simple dish
Pretend you are a poet/art major and give a really deep and insightful description of something around you
Pretend that someone in the group is the love of your life and you haven't seen them in 2 years
Pretend to kiss someone like a guy on a first date.
Show a really bad photo from your camera roll of yourself. e.g. an embarrassing childhood photo or drunken picture of yourself.
Dramatically read a love poem from the internet.
Put honey on your top lip, then players rip hair off of their bodies and create a moustache for you by sticking the hair to the honey.
Recite the alphabet backwards in 30 seconds and if you fail there is a forfeit.
Give a heartfelt compliment to each person in the room.
Everyone holds their breath, first to let go does a forfeit
Dare someone to tell a cheesy pick-up line to someone playing the game.
Dare someone to take a selfie with a random object outside.
Dare someone to let another player give them a temporary tattoo with pen / marker.
Dare someone to let another player choose their social media profile picture for the next week.
Dare someone to sing a love song to the person on their right.
Dare someone to do a funny dance with a broom as their partner.
pick the person on your right, sit on their lap for 5 mins
lick the bottom of someone's foot
lick in-between toes
act like a dog and do trick for people
kiss 3 people
take a slap on the cheek from every player
get a flick on the forehead
eat belly button lint
get slapped on your back full force until you can see a red hand mark
put your finger in someone elses nose
have someone use you as a human surfboard
get hit in the nuts by a thrown object
you can only address everyone else in the game as mommy or daddy you cannot use their first names anymore
eat someones earwax
get a wedgie until you leave the ground
Spin around for 60 seconds and try to walk straight
bite your arm for 10 seconds and see the mark left
get blindfolded and kiss 5 random things and you have to guess
get slapped on the stomach
lick inside someone's ear
punch something full force
have someone do the "surra de bunda" on you
lick the inside of someones belly button
do the splits as far as you can
jam your fingers into a wall
break something with your head
do a pushup with someone on your back
get slapped on the bottom of your foot
smack your head against items
eat someone's leg hair
run into a wall
get a raspberry by someone on your face
everyone rip out leg hairs, see who rips out the most wins
get a chinese burn
trust fall but don't get be caught (hit the floor)
do a dogpile with you at the bottom
Situational Dares
(Equipment required)
Soak a sock in water, ring it out and drink it
Drop a fork from head height onto your toes
Eat a dandelion
Eat a spoonful of a condiment you don't like.
Eat a spoonful of cinnamon
Dare someone to eat a raw onion slice.
deepthroat a banana
make a smoothie / drink with random items from kitchen, then drink it
Smash an egg on your head
try to wear cups a high heels and walk around
pull 5 hairs from nose/ eyebrow with tweezers
eat dog food / pet food
Have a shot of hot sauce
wear a sock as a mustache for a round
lick an old sock
put duck tape on your body and rip it off fast
ball up a sock and put it in your mouth like a gag
crush an empty can with your forehead
eat a raw onion with ketchup
put toothpaste on your face as if it were shaving cream
ice down your pants
take a fork and stab yourself
attempt 3 crackers in under a minute no water
eat expired food
lick the outside of a window / car window
get hit with a belt
eat a ball of wasabi
eat a piece of paper
eat a full jalapeno
lick a condiment off of the floor
get whipped by wet towels
eat someone else's gum from their mouth
pass an ice cube from one person's mouth to yours
drink a raw egg yolk / whole egg
have someone put lipstick on you messily / using their feet to apply instead of hands
get slapped by someone who has a handful of a condiment
bite a chunk out of a deodorant stick (don't swallow as poisonous)
eat a square of toilet paper
put chilis up your nose and breathe through your nose
eat food from the food waste
let people throw food / items at you
stand against a wall and people pelt tennis balls at you
wear a dress for the rest of the game
put an item of food on your forehead and slide it down your face and get it into your mouth
eat flowers
eat hair from another player
let people draw on your face
put close pegs on your skin / face / nipples
eat dirt
take a ball/football to the face
get a spitball shot into your mouth
drink water through your nose with a straw
lick dust from an old object
put legos on the ground and jump bare foot on them
slap yourself with chopsticks on the forehead
eat something frozen from the freezer
run water through someone else's hair and drink it
lay in a bed and get body slammed
get hit with a pillow
tape your hand to someone next to you / you must hold hands for the rest of the game
lick a doorknob / deep throat a doorknob
have someone swish water / a drink then spit it in a cup then you have to drink it
Do jumping jacks while breathing through someone's shoe
put leggings over your head and take it off with no hands
put whipped cream on random items in your house and lick the cream off
take an item of food and slide it across several peoples bodies and eat it
get a pallet of makeup added to your face
get a rubber band and flick your tongue with it
be blindfolded for a whole round
smash fruit into your face
lick a shower drain
dip someones toe in a condiment then you have to eat it off
recieve a blind makover
have your hands and feet tied togethere
Paranoia
If you ever find yourself in need of a good paranoia question, you must see the questions down below. They are garuanteed to hurt some feelings and make some divisions.
Who has the shortest temper?
Who would laugh at something no matter what?
Who is the most depressed?
Who cheers you up just by looking at them?
Who is devious?
Who is the most suspicious?
Who is the dumbest?
Who is the smartest?
Who is the most angelic?
Who is a legend?
Who is the weakest link?
Who is the 'fruitiest'?
Who would eat everything in the fridge?
Who do you find to be cute?
Who would argue in favour of insect?
Who would be the best drink driver?
who would eat floor ham?
Who will be a Karen when they are older?
Who would make an edit of themselves?
Who honestly seems like they are going to attack you at any moment?
Who when you look at them makes your feel like less of a failure?
Who if you had an hour conversation with, would talk to you about the deepest and realest stuff?
Who is good / bad vibes?
Who if you never saw them again would have the biggest impact?
Who would start the shenanigans in any given situation?
Who just need a hug
Who will age like fine wine?
Who is too nosy and tries to learn and spread gossip?
Who would be the richest person in the world yet still try to save their money and not spend a penny?
Who is someone that after not seeing them for an extended period of time you could speak to them and it is like nothing has changed?
Who is the most humble and respectful?
Who is most likely too have a home in which the only furniture is a camping chair and a TV with only a mattress for a bed and of course, Cheetos on the floor.
Who is someone that is fake
Who should be in prison but has managed to get away with the heinous crimes they have committed
Who would try to give themselves a BJ?
Who do you think will last read a book?
Who is most likely to watch romantic movies
Who is the stingiest when it comes to adding flavour into food?
Who showers once a month?
Who would you most like to kiss your shoe?
Who probably looks at their business in the toilet before flushing?
who pours milk before adding cereal?
who is the most mid looking?
Who is most likely to get married to someone they've known for 5 hours?
Who is most likely to destroy public property?
Who would get a big tattoo and regret it a month later?
Who is most likely to have the lowest rice purity test score?
Who is an overly competitive person to the point that they ruin the game for themselves?
Who would you least want to be stranded on a desert island with?
Who is the type of person to make a funny face/laugh at you during a serious moment?
Who would avoid you over a £20 debt?
Who would freeze up when meeting someone famous or important?
Who would own an unusual pet like a zebra or tiger?
Who cannot take a hint?
Who would back out of a challenge?
Who would you trust the least with your unlocked phone?
Who is most likely to jump of a bridge because their friends did?
Who is most likely to crash a car on the first day of getting their licences?
Who is most likely to talk to themselves for hours?
Who is most likely to die first?
Who is most likely to drink drive?
Who is most likely to become a millionaire?
Who is most likely to buy feet pics?
Who is most likely to be homeless?
Who is most likely to get rejected by a pretty girl / guy?
Who is most likely to look up after you tell them the word 'gullible' is on the roof?
Who is most likely to unearth your deep secrets just to win an argument?
Who is most likely to get a tattoo of someone they have gone out with for a week?
Who is most likely to end up dead but no-one notices?
Who is most likely to try and fart but shit themselves instead?
Who is most likely to end up in prison for life without parolel?
Who is most likely to go months without showering?
Who is most likely to become a drunken alcoholic when they are older?
Who is most likely to be the best exotic dancer?
Who is most likely to sell feet pics?
Who is most likely to turn out to be gay?
Who is most likely to upset a world leader and start WW3?
Who is most likely to die alone?
Who is most likely to say something stereotypical?
Who is most likely to kill themselves?
Who is most likely to get a pregnancy scare (could be their partner)?
Who is most likely to be unable to get it up?
Who is most likely to get a personal hooker?
Who is most likely to like femboys?
Who is most likely to become a furry/endorsement of it?
Who is most likely to be a masculine energy endorsed maniac?
Who is most likely to die at the hands of significant other?
Who is most likely to ingest their own faecal matter?
Who is most likely to be a pedo?
Who is most likely to make a sex tape?
Who is most likely to streak through the streets?
Who is most likely to be infertile?
Who is most likely to cry uncontrollably during a romantic movie?
Who is most likely to bald first?
Who is the group therapist?
Who would die first in an apocalypse?
Who would do the things from Saltburn?
Who is into BDSM/CNC?
Who do you think has the most going on inside their head?
Who - like Jay from "The Inbetweeners" - talks about things that definitely haven't happened in their life.
Who is type of person to make plans then cancel them last minute?
Who smells the worse?
Who would drink drive because they think that they haven't been affected by drinking?
Who would become a chronic gambler?
Who wouldn't you trust to sleep in the same tent as?
Who holds a grudge for the longest?
Who is the biggest over-thinker?
Who would disappear out of your life without saying goodbye
Who has the worst taste in fashion / music / movies?
Who takes ages to respond to messages despite being the least busy person?
Who is the type of person to not give you a gift on your birthday yet expect a present on their birthday?
2 Gospels and 1 Deception
Everybody loves a bit of '2 truths and a lie', This game allows for the participants to learn hanious things about eachother and learn what they can come up with as a treturous lie.
Below are a few examples of possible lies you could use if you are short for ideas...
I have a small tattoo I haven't told many people about
I was a twin in the womb and I ate my sibling
I've never understood the hype for Pizza
I once won a cash prize on a local radio quiz
I've never broken a bone / I've broken x amount of bones
My Aunties friend knows "insert someone famous".
I believe in ghosts wholeheartedly
I’m ambidextrous.
I'm a background extra in a movie
I've streaked before
got banned from a local Tesco after misuse and vandalism of the bathroom
I’ve kissed someone of the same sex, just for fun.
I've experimented with my best friend.
Never Have I ever
Said I love you to someone and they didn't say it back
Diagnostic dilemmas!
The noble 'would you rather', is a classic party game among youngsters.
All I can ask is, Would you rather:
Always be naked or have you thoughts appear as speech bubbles around your head?
Legs become as long as fingers or fingers become as long as legs?
Be a millionaire but sad or poor and happy?
have teeth for hair or hair for teeth?
clean an 18 wheeler with your tongue or be cleaned by tongues for a year?
always wear wet socks or wet gloves?
have a spider lay 100 eggs inside of you that will hatch or die instantly?
Know when you die or how you die?
Bring back prime Fortnite or Prevent every atrocity ever humankind has done to themselves since the dawn of man?
be 9 inches tall or 12 feet tall?
Use sand paper for toilet roll or hot sauce for eye drops?
Get a notification every time your parents hook up or your parents get a notification every time you hook up?
Get piercings everywhere possible on your body or get a full body tattoo
Listen to 'Crazy frog' or 'What does the fox say' all the time?
Be a sentient toilet or a sentient punching bag in a gym?
Sit in a room for 72hrs or not be allowed to sleep for 1 week?
Forget who you are or everyone else forgets who you are?
drink a pint of chunky milk or eat a bag of rotten strawberries with worms throughout?
be a male or a female?
Have a phone that is always on full charge or have self cleaning teeth?
Sit on a cake and eat dick or sit on a dick and eat cake?
Have a job you hate but you retire comfortably at 40 or have a job you love but retire at 80?
have a 5% chance of yelling slurs at all minorities you walk past or a 1% chance of cat calling every under 18 year old you walk past
do the bathtub scene from Saltburn or the blood scene?
suck a dick for the first 90% or the last 10%?
never be able to laugh again or never be able to make someone else laugh?
lose all your money or lose all your friends?
have a rewind button or a fast forward button on your life?
only be able to whisper or only be able to shout?
be in maximum security prison for a year or lose a year off your life?
only be able to eat spicy (that no matter how strong your spice tolerance is, is painful to eat) food or only be able to eat bland food?
always feel like you are just about to throw up or alsways feel like someone is watching you
always have to wear heavy winter clothes or always have to wear summer clothes?
be completely alone for 5 years or never be alone for 5 years (not even for a second)?
have a million in cash today or a billion in cash 10 years before you die?
have the ability to see 10 minutes into the future or 150 years into the future?
be constantly tired no matter how much you sleep or constantly hungry no matter how much you eat?
Always be 10 minutes late or always be an hour early?
Have one real get-out-of-jail-free card or have a real reverse uno card?
Only be able to listen to your 10 favourite songs for the rest of your life or never be able to listen to the same song twice?
Have no one show up to your wedding or no one show up to your funeral?
Have a personal chef or a personal chauffeur?
Have chronic bad breath or chronic body odor?
Always have wet socks or always have a small rock in your shoe?
Have to listen to nails on a chalkboard or a baby crying for an hour straight?
Be a cowboy, samurai or a pirate
Your son calls his girlfriend mommy or your daughter calls her boyfriend daddy
Pee a grape or shit pineapple
have a dog die everytime you laugh or mass genocide when you fall in love
Preludal Probes
(Questions when introducing yourself to someone)
(Rather than the boring "what do you do for work", questions they will remember)
Do you believe in aliens? - aliens are real fyi
What’s your theory on why cats stare at walls?
What’s one mystery you wish you could solve?
What’s something you think humans will do 1,000 years from now that seems impossible today?
If you could domesticate any animal and have it as a pet which would you choose?
If plants could scream, would you still eat them?
What’s an invention that humanity is not ready for?
What’s an everyday activity you’d want to turn into a national competition?
What’s a creature from folklore or myth you secretly wish was real?
If you had to live in a building that wasn’t designed as a home, what kind would you pick?
If you could spend 24 hours as a fly on the wall in any room, where would you choose and why?
if you were born with action figure hands what position would you you have them in
Do you think time travel should be allowed if it existed?
If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate? (not yourself you egotistical narcissist)
If you could witness any historical event, what would it be?
Do you think there is anything at all suspicious on why humans have déjà vu?
What’s the most underrated sound in the world?
What’s the funniest conspiracy theory you sort of believe in?
If you could have a conversation with any inanimate object, what would it be?
What’s a word you think should have a totally different meaning?
If a computer could write a perfect love letter, would it still feel meaningful?
Would you consider the relationship of shampoo and conditioner as friends or purely professional? (other ideas include; Salt and pepper, fork and knife, lock and key, pencil and paper, etc)
Spliff Questions
(Questions to get you thinking and get to know how people think)
(Late at night vibes, stuff is winding down but the conversation is going strong)
Even if you were being paid 1 billion pounds what would you still not do?
What is more important to you - love or money?
What is something that you wished you had already achieved?
What is your piece of advice?
What is a memory shared with friends that is priceless
What fear do you experience daily
what does trust mean to you?
If you do 1 more thing before you die what is it?
How do you think you will die?
If a crystal ball could tell you something about your future what would you want it to say?
Do you think aliens are out there?
Why do you / don't you believe in God?
At what point does waiting become "too long" for you
Where is the place that allows you to meditate
Have you ever randomly come across a childhood scent?
Do you ever think we would be better to go back to being hunter-gatherers again?
What is a social norm that you break?
What is the longest time you think you could go without [fill in blank]?
How often do you find yourself exaggerating things in your life?
Do you think the planet is doomed?
Who would you take as a dinner guest if it could be anyone (alive or dead), and what would you ask them?
If you were going to infamous what would it be for?
What are you most grateful for?
If you could change something about how you were raised, what would you change?
What is something you should have done by now but haven't?
What is your strangest dream experience?
What is the most expensive item you have broken?
Are animals freer than man?
if you were asked "who are you", and you couldn't mention your job, studies or friends what would you say?
Are you someone who watches the intro to TV series or do you skip them every time?
Are you a happy person with sad moments or a sad person with happy moments?
What’s one moment from your past you wish you could relive, but with a different outcome?
What’s something you believe in, even if no one else does?
What’s one thing you think people take for granted, but is actually essential to happiness?
Are you more of an emotional thinker or a logical thinker?
What do you think the purpose to the universe is?
If you could fix one recurring problem in your life what would it be?
If you had to spend 100 hours in a white room with only a pencil and paper, what do you think you would do?
What is something fun you used to do as a kid that you haven't been able to do since?
Are you an early person or a late person?
Are you a listener or a talker?
What do you hope will never change?
What is something you had to unlearn?
What is your unpopular opinion?
What is a compliment you will remember forever?
Do you think you are an above average person (most people think they are above average)
What is the biggest punishment you have received and for what
What should the goal of humanity be?
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
What human sense would you get rid of if you had too?
If you suddenly had 1 billion dollars what would you buy? (can't save all of it)
What is the biggest fight/drama you have had with a friend?
Weirdest thing you have done in front of the mirror
What illegal thing would you make legal?
What legal thing would you make illegal?
What colour is Maths?
Should my happiness be the priority?
Why do you think suffering happens?
Can one humans life be worth more than others?
Could one human be worth more than multiple lives?
What number of people would justify killing one person to save that amount of people. e.g. kill 1 person to save 1000.
Do you believe in soulmates?
If someone told you, you are a lot like your partner? Would this be a compliment?
In your relationship are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely?
Are you able to be unapologetically yourself around your partner or do you feel the need to show up differently around your partner to please them?
Are you in love with your partner right now, or are you in love with their good side or their potential self?
Would you like your child to be someone like your partner?
What is the worse things someone could say for you to hate them straight away ?